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Archive for the ‘Games & Technology’ Category

Technology Crisis

Tuesday, June 30th, 2009

BEN sits at his computer, ready to work.

BEN

Okay iTunes, give me something AWESOME to get me PUMPED for work.

ITUNES

Here, listen to Jonathan Coulton’s “When You Go”, followed immediately by “I Just Don’t Think I’ll Ever Get Over You” by Colin Hay.

BEN

(Gently sobbing)

You bastard.

Disk Editing For Fun And Profit

Thursday, June 11th, 2009

Amiga Power is the magazine that made me want to write about videogames for a living. I’ve since changed my tune, but it’s hard not to read stuff like this and not think to myself, “Man, that sure sounds like fun.”

Disk Editing For Fun And Profit

Easily the most harrowing aspect of AMIGA POWER, the universally hated though vitally important task of organising games (as opposed to physically compiling the disks) fell to anyone who wasn’t icy enough not to care.

Ten rubberingly-stretched days of crushing desperation would then happen to the hapless individual, on top of their usual duties of writing the mag, or subbing it, or being the Editor, with no safety net of a humorous feature to put in instead and everyone else treading round them carefully as you’d do with someone due to be executed on Thursday, at the end of which a set of games would appear as if wrought from the air by sheer mental effort.

These would then be sent off to Kenny The Disk Compiler and by noon he’d have called back to report four of the games had custom loaders that would need two days to crack, three were A1200-only, one of the others needed 6mb of memory and anyway there was only room for that PD version of Pacman, provided we didn’t mind it split across both disks.

Shouting would occur while everyone else ran away, and four days later the finalised disks would arrive with the duplicators, who would then lose the labels or spontaneously forget how to work their machines. Eventually, samples would be returned to the office, where they’d fail to work on at least the two most popular of the 790 models of Amiga currently on sale, and weeping would result, and kicking in of photocopiers.

Finally, the okay would be given to copy thousands of disks, and with only a few days’ delay while the duplicators neglected to examine the fax or spontaneously forgot how to read, the issue and its shiny game-packed coverdisks would appear on the shelves.

The pallid wretch who had pulled this off would then swear on the eyes of the orphan children of the world never to do it again until it was his turn.

And why did we go through this stomach-clutching terror month after month? Because we cared. Do you see? Do you get it yet? We cared. Because we cared. That was the point. Because we cared. Do you understand? Is it clear? Because we cared. It was because we cared that we did it. Have you grasped that thought and do you hold it in your head, that we cared?

Gagh. (Dies.)

I’m Selling These Fine Leather Jackets…

Monday, June 1st, 2009

I think it’s safe to say that The Secret of Monkey Island is the single greatest computer game of all time.

That game is responsible for so many of my ambitions growing up. Back when I was very young I would watch my cousin Andy play the game incessantly, and I learnt to read specifically so I could play the game too.  The artwork of the game inspired me to draw, something I don’t do so much these days. The fantastic dialogue, utterly superb story and brilliant characters made me want to write stories of my own. Monkey Island helped shape so many of my goals growing up. It’s my favourite game ever and, like a good book, I replay it once a year every year forever.

You have no idea how excited I was to wake up this morning and discover that not only are LucasArts releasing a special edition for the Xbox 360 and PC, but that TellTale Games are working on an episodic series of sequels.

Go to the special edition website and check it out. They’re not just repackaging the original game. They’re giving it a complete overhaul. They’re going back and recording the voices for all of the characters (the original game was text-only, with the characters getting voice actors for the third game in the series). They’ve reanimated all of the sprites, repainted all of the backgrounds. They don’t appear to Lucasing the game, either – it doesn’t look like they’re going to do silly things like add more background characters to Melee Island™, or make the clock in the centre of town show the correct time. This is not, haha, a Lucas’d remake like A New Hope. This is the exact same game we played twenty years ago. They’re just giving it a polish for us. The option to switch between the original graphics and the new versions at any point during play is indicative of that, and is a fantastic touch.

I watched the video on LucasArts’ website, and I smiled. Lots. It looks like LucasArts will be at E3, so hopefully I’ll get a peak at the game on Tuesday. I’m overjoyed that series creator Ron Gilbert is involved in both of these projects. The man’s a genius, and to continue Monkey Island without him would be a travesty (as evidenced by Escape From Monkey Island, which was a disaster).

I’m going to stop typing now and play Monkey Island again.

Weathering Heights

Saturday, April 18th, 2009

I <3 LA

I just fixed the Weather app on my dock. I needn’t have bothered, really – I live in LA.

An open letter to Sony Computer Entertainment Europe

Thursday, April 16th, 2009

Dear SCEE UK Press team,

Congratulations on the announcement of a new SOCOM game for your PlayStation Portable console. I’m sure you’re very pleased to have greenlit yet another title in the remarkably popular military tactical warfare series.

Might I suggest, however, that regardless of just how much you may well be swelling with pride, it probably isn’t necessary to send me no less than eight identical emails in the space of a few hours informing me of the announcement. Especially when I’ve expressed virtually no interest in this game or, indeed, any other game in the SOCOM series.

Thank you for your time.

With regards,
Ben Paddon

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